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Inspiring StoriesNawal(for security purposes, no picture is provided)Before I begin this testimony, I would like to tell you a little about myself. I was saved in 1982 in Bethlehem. I am from a big family and I have five children of my own. I studied the Bible for four years at the Bethlehem Bible College and in a Christian University in Indiana, and have learned about forgiveness and loving others. A few years after I was saved, the first Intifada (Arab uprising) began. My people were fighting against the Israeli soldiers, and those around me thought of the soldiers as their enemies. I never felt this way. As a born again believer, I loved my enemies. Every morning when I woke up, I prayed for the people in the street who were fighting and I prayed for the soldiers. The street on which I lived was very active with clashes between the boys of our town and the Israeli soldiers. My sons have never been involved in political problems, even until today. There were always boys running in front of my house as they were fighting the soldiers. I felt God was using me to pray for everyone involved. One day, while I was away from home, a young Christian man was killed directly in front of my house. Because of the death of this 18 year old youth, everyone wanted revenge, and the situation in my neighborhood became much worse. As a result, a group of Israeli soldiers called the "Death Team" were called into the area. One of the neighborhood teenagers who was throwing stones ran in front of my house, and the soldiers thought he entered my house for safety. They broke down my door and grabbed my children, hitting them as they pulled them out of the house. I didn't understand what was happening. I didn't understand why they were taking my children, since they had not participated. The soldiers took one of my sons and his friend, and they began beating them very badly right in front of me. I screamed, and I tried to talk to them and to reason with them. I begged them to stop; I did everything I could. Then one soldier turned and started beating me with the end of his gun. Next, he made me stand against the wall with my arms out. I began yelling for Jesus to stop what was going on. The soldier ordered me to stop. Another soldier who heard me say the name of Jesus came over and hit me in the back with his gun. After he told me to stop saying that name and that he hated that name, he went back to my son and hit him more. I then said, "Oh, Jesus" for the last time, and I was not able to speak anymore. As I was returning indoors, the soldier held a gun to my son's head and told him that upon the count of three, he had to be back in the house. The soldier told my son that if he saw him, he would kill him. I was so scared! My son and his friend crawled on their hands and knees up the stairs. When they got to the top of the stairs, they collapsed with exhaustion. I got water and started pouring it on them. Then my son opened his eyes and told me he was alright. While this was happening, other soldiers found my youngest son and my husband, and started to beat them also. When they finally released my younger son, I started to praise God that we were all still alive. Of all the members of my family, my oldest son was in the worst shape. He was black and blue all over his body. Although this incident came to an end, a new problem developed. I became very angry with God. I felt we didn't deserve this; my children hadn't done anything wrong. I had been praying for these soldiers and this is what happened? It wasn't fair. In my mind, I kept seeing the soldiers hitting my sons, and I was very frustrated and angry. I could not handle all of the feelings within me. After a few weeks, I began wanting to kill all the soldiers. I wanted revenge. When I looked at the soldiers, I saw so much evil, I was afraid. I wasn't able to sleep or eat. I lost my joy, my peace, and the desire to pray and read the Bible. It was like a big wall of ice came between me and God. I started asking God, "Where are You? What did we do to deserve this?" I used to look forward to waking in the morning to pray and read the Bible, but not anymore. There was no desire inside of me to do anything, and I felt that God was far away from me. I continued to cry out to God and I asked to let me see Him. I knew something was wrong, but I couldn't figure out what it was. I felt like I was dying spiritually. There is a place in Jerusalem called Latrun where believers can go to spend time with God. I called a brother in Christ, and asked him to come and pick me up and take me to Latrun. Once I arrived, I went by myself into the woods and started to cry out to God in a loud voice, but I didn't get any answers. I felt like the heavens were closed. I then saw a man in the distance sitting on a rock watching me, but I wasn't concerned about him because I was dealing with my own feelings. I continued praying until I was lying on the ground. I didn't have any energy left. As I was lying there, I heard someone coming close to me. It was the man that I had seen earlier watching from a distance. He came over and asked me what was wrong. I told him to go away because he wouldn't understand. The man persisted and asked me to please tell him what was wrong with me. Finally, I told him everything. The man responded, "Lets go over this step by step". He first asked me if I thought it was God who had caused all of this. He then started showing me from the Bible how Satan tries to stop us from getting close to God. He showed me that it was Satan who caused my hatred for the soldiers and all of my other angers. He showed me that God still loved me and all of my children. He also explained to me that God knew how I was feeling. He reminded me that God watched His own Son being beaten and put on the Cross. Instantly, the dark cloud that had been over me was lifted. I started seeing what was going on around me. This man told me that Satan was trying to put me in bondage, and all of the hate, anger, fear, confusion, and other feelings caused me to move away from God. However, God had not gone away from me. Then I asked the man what he suggested that I do. The man told me that I had to obey God's word. He read to me the following verses:
It is easy to read and hear these words; however, it is hard to put these words into practice, especially when you are hurting. The man told me that it is my choice to obey God's words or not. I exclaimed that I can't! The man said that he knew that I can't, but God can use His Holy Spirit to help me, and this was the only way to have God back in my life. He reminded me that it had been my choice to push God away. I knew that I wanted to be close to God, but I was suffering so much inside. My inner struggles had turned me away from God and I knew there had to be reconciliation with Him. Immediately, I started praying. I repented and asked God to forgive me for blaming Him. I then prayed and asked God's blessings on the soldiers. I chose to forgive the soldiers. As soon as I said those words, I felt the presence of God flood my body. I felt like a big rock was lifted off of me. Being reconciled with God enabled me to be reconciled with the soldiers. At this time it was dark and I wanted to go home. I went back to the office of Latrun and had tea with the friend who had picked me up from Bethlehem. I then asked him about the guy who was in the woods because I wanted to thank him. My friend told me that there wasn't anyone there. He said that he hadn't let anyone inside and that it was not possible for anyone to have been there with me. Maybe it was an angel. When I went home, all of my joy returned to me. I felt so much better! I felt that my heart had been healed and restored. Even when I looked at the soldiers, I did not have hatred; rather, I felt sorry for them. I knew that they were acting out of fear and anger. I believe with all my heart that the soldiers carried out the orders that were given to them, even if they didn't want to do such things. I started praying for them again. I prayed that God would have mercy on them. I prayed for them as if they were my own children. My friend from Latrun also invited my children to come and spend a week away from the situation in Bethlehem. It was a blessing because there were two Messianic believers there during that same week. My sons were able to talk to these men. The men asked my sons to forgive them for what their people did. They prayed together, and there was emotional and spiritual healing for my children. Praise God for this divine appointment! The Lord uses me in intercession, and since this experience, I am often awakened in the middle of the night to intercede. I intercede with tears and in tongues, usually not knowing what I'm praying for until I feel the release from God, typically as the sun is rising. Without fail, very often after a day or two, there will be a terror attack. Even though the attacks still happen, the Lord knows that I am praying for the Jewish people. I have learned a lot from this experience and I want to share it. I know that there are other people dealing with the same emotions that I experienced. When we hold something against other people, it will affect our relationship with God, and this forms bitterness inside of us. Forgiveness is very important. You can't have a strong relationship with God if you harbor hatred for others. The most difficult part is to bless those who curse you. You have to obey this command in order to receive blessings. I encourage everyone to open their eyes to the importance of forgiveness. Remember how Jesus answered Peter:
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